Reflections of Christ

I am on the receiving end of short-term mission trips. Now, I am the host for these energetic teenagers seeing the other side of the world for the first time in a 2-week intensive experience. And wow, what a joy they are!!

I’ve heard all the arguments about the danger of short-term mission trips and I’ve even felt the guilt about going on them myself. I wondered if I was just taking work away from the locals or imposing on their system that works quicker without my interruption. I wondered if the money I was raising to go would be better used if I just wrote them a check. But now that I am on the side of the host country with mission teams visiting “my people” and these kiddo’s, I can honestly say they are so needed for our health and vitality as individuals and as an organization. It’s not always about the money or “getting the job done”; we live for relationship, and the ones we make with our visiting friends breathe new life into our spirits.

For me, the first week and a half of life in Nairobi were full of change, questions responded to with ambiguous answers leading to even more doubt, and numbness. I hoped it would improve with time since I am committed to a year, but God wanted to show up quickly so He could show off!

Cue the arrival of 10 hyper high schoolers and their 3 amazing chaperones, as well as the sweet Simply2Love team of 4 ladies! Over 11 days, we all became close friends, and I’m so happy to have 17 new friends praying and supporting CCP from California. It makes a HUGE difference to see the faces in our context who have said they support us. Their actions speak loud; they stepped out in faith to raise support and leave their families and friends for 2 weeks to do life with us in Nairobi! We laughed and cried and sang and danced together! We kissed giraffes, bounced along a 6-hour bus detour (a trip that should have been just 2 hours) through the African bush, were cornered by stampedes of orphan elephants, prayed over the sweet kiddo’s of CCP and their families, and ate A LOT of chapati!

Christ heard me in my loneliness, and He sent 17 reflections of Himself to refresh my heart and soul! I have no doubt in my mind now for the need of short-term mission teams. As long as the visitors are seeking God’s will and supporting the host organization with excited and humbled spirits, they are absolutely a help to us. Let this be encouragement to you as you consider going on a mission trip yourself or supporting someone else who is going!

living loved,
kelli klaus

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Mistaking Happiness for Home

Forgive me this intro that sounds more like a bad start to an infomercial, but I have to ask, have you ever felt unsettled? Discontent? Like some purpose you should be filling isn’t being lived out?

I’m curious because it’s how I’ve felt lately. Despite the adventures and blessings that surround me, there’s still an underlying sense that there should be more. I seek and seek and seek some more for this “settled happiness and security” that keeps evading me. 

I realized an important difference this week in how to view that sense of more. The world says becoming the best possible version of yourself, achieving that lifelong dream, or making a renowned name for yourself are the keys to unlocking your full potential and that more for you. As if it could be reached if we strive enough.

But what if accepting that more can not and will not be reached on this temporal earth is the true release from the unsettled, discontent, purposeless fear we’re feeling? Maybe the greatest freedom will be found…

Read over this C.S. Lewis quote at least twice.

“The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God…Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.”

(Read it again! Gah, it’s sooo good and on point!)

Let us never mistake this world for home. He allows fun and merriment, and glimpses of what we were created for/what we will be returning to one day, but we can also accept that on earth we’ll never feel constant, settled happiness and security!

That will only be depressing to the one who doesn’t have an active hope in God. As a believer in God’s omniscience, He knows best for me, for you, and for our mindsets. He allows that sense of unsettledness, with peeks into happiness and security, like short stays at an inn, so we get a taste of what eternity will be like.

I realized this week and after reading this Lewis quote to accept that more will only be glimpsed and not wholly reached in this life. I must trust Him in the waiting; believe the discontentment has its purpose; and return my gaze to Him when it starts wandering to the securities of this world as my identity.

I hope this encourages you or touches a part of your life as it did for me. Please share any thoughts or questions in the comment section below!

stay lovely,
the tall girl


When the Empire Falls

As I hurried down the metro stairs to catch the train out of Paris, I saw the mother with her empty stroller just in time to slow down as I rounded the corner. Her little boy had almost achieved a great victory as his stubby toddler legs escalated the final step.

IMG_1139I couldn’t help but stop and beam down at him as I tried to understand his world. Each 6-inch step was a 14-er mountain, one block along an avenue with his mother was a half marathon.

He looked up from his intense focus on climbing, and I immediately started clapping and “cheering” for him. The smile that lit up his face was too perfect. My surprise grew as he flung his arms wide, stumbled/ran to me, and wrapped his short arms around my calves, the highest he could reach.

My day was made. No fancy ordeal, no exotic new sight or taste, just a baby. Trusting without hesitation; innocent and perfect.

The wheels started turning. As the Parisian city skyline faded into rolling green hills of Chantilly, I thought of my travels. How was it possible that this 45-second interaction in a grimy subway station could have such a great impact on me? Even more so than the other events of the weekend, which I had truly enjoyed! Picnicking under the Eiffel Tower, acting like a local at the Sunday open-air market, exploring the City of Light in its high-fashion craze and juxtaposing architecture galore.

We can attain fame and popularity, money or a “quality of life” we nestle comfortably in, and create an empire for ourselves. So why are there so many depressed and anxious people, searching for what’s missing in their life?

This post isn’t to give you my opinion on this, although I of course have one. It’s much easier to read an op-ed, say something like “interesting perspective”, and then completely disregard and forget about it 20 seconds later. No, this is much too important an issue for that.

Instead I’m proposing a heart search. What is (who are) the most important thing (people) in your life?

But are you living like it?

stay lovely,
the tall girl

Faith to Move

The waves lapped against the side of the boat, lovingly named Sea Note. 53 American students stood transfixed by the scene all around them. A cool, sea breeze was embraced with widespread arms and content hearts after a record-setting day of heat. God himself seemed to breathe out grace and love on this eclectic group brought together on a journey through his purposeful will.

Hazy sun over the Sea of Galilee.

Looking out across the sea, my minds’ eye created slideshows of Bible stories I’ve known since I was a teeny tot in Sunday School. Jesus calming storms, walking on water, calling his beloved disciples to fish for more than temporary sustenance but for men’s souls.

I couldn’t help myself. 🙂 #SnapchatGameStrong

The film paused when I thought of Jesus appearing to his disciples after his resurrection (found in John 21). From the shore, his identity obscured by distance, Jesus suggested they throw their nets to the right side of the boat after a long, unsuccessful night with their nets on the left side. Being on that sailboat a few nights ago in the middle of a large sea, rocking slightly to the flux of waves, revealed to me in the most obvious sense how little that slight change could have helped. This man really thought ten feet away in those vast waters would help them catch more fish?

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Praise and Worship on the Sea.

Yet they blindly trust the stranger on the shore and throw the net to the right side. Immediately their faith was rewarded with a full net, too heavy to pull up from the large catch. The disciples on that boat had spent three consecutive years with Jesus Christ, and they recognized one of His miracles when they saw one. In enters Peter. Impulsive, passionate, intelligent Peter, who had denied knowing Christ three times just a few days prior.

I put myself in Peter’s shoes at this moment: the Savior I’ve followed and dedicated my life to for 3 years has died the most shameful death, hanging on a cross. Although I believed undoubtedly who He was, in the face of questioning, I deny any affiliation with Him. I feel guilty, alone, confused, and shocked, overwhelmed with emotion and no idea how to process it all. I would do as Peter did: return to what I know. From John 21:3 we know Peter and the disciples went back to fishing, their occupation before following Jesus. This caused me to pause and wonder what do I return to when I’m guilty, alone, confused, and shocked by what life brings me?

Often it’s the usual insecurities, surrounded by walls of competency so that no one can see the weaknesses within. It’s the search for affirmation from peers or people I respect, usually leading only to disappointment when the praise is scarce or unfulfilling.

The mental movie continued with Peter realizing the mystery man on shore was Christ. He doesn’t hesitate for a moment to jump out of the boat to swim towards his best friend. All of the guilt, the heart-wrenching shame, the loneliness, and the shock are erased in the presence of Peter’s Savior. And we know He didn’t come for just one man, race, or gender, but for all humanity. And in the presence of His unceasing grace and love, we have hope for the future and peace in the present.

As the Sea Note returned to shore, it blasted old worship songs through the speakers. “He’s got the whole world in His hands, He’s got the whole world in His hands, He’s got the whole world in His hands, He’s got the WHOLE WORLD in His hands!” brought me right back to my childhood, dancing with my brother to 100 Kid’s Bible Worship Songs on cassette for a boisterous audience of mom and dad. And it reminded me to trust.

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Beautiful sight to see these two flags waving together, united.

We spend so much of our lives worrying, but if we would just have faith small enough to move our net from the left to the right side of the boat, to step out of our comfort zones, to trust God’s plan over our own, we’d be much more content and able to more clearly see His will playing out in our lives.

stay lovely,
the tall girl

It’s a Rainy Day in the Big Apple

Since the start of this internship, a cloud of expectations looming over my head has brought a torrent of anxieties on me that I may not measure up to my “potential”. Continue reading “It’s a Rainy Day in the Big Apple”